✅ When you are triggered or in conflict with your spouse, what activities help bring you back to being grounded and able to execute that conflict the way you would prefer? 

Keyword here is, HELP. It doesn’t have to always work, or always solve it, but is something that helps sometimes, a little or a lot. 

🗒️Write a list of those things, leave space between each for more notes.

Throughout the next two weeks think about and notice the below and write them down. 

• Reflect on what it is about that activity that helps.
  • What needs do you notice this meets? What about these activities helps to meet your needs? What are the aspects that are present that you notice you feel good about? Note all of these
•  Reflect on why, at times you do not do those things when they are needed. Did you not realize? Do you feel locked into the moment? What is scary about pulling out of whatever moment is causing the trigger or tension and doing something else for a bit? 

The more you notice and write down the better. 

Writing these things down is key. We easily forget moments of clarity and writing them down helps us to have a reference back to that moment of clarity. 

When tension arises in you over the next two weeks, communicate with your spouse that you need some space until you can do that activity. If the activity is not something you cannot orchestrate in a reasonable amount of time while having space make an agreement to put whatever the topic is that is happening on pause until you can find that time.

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